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Energetic Kids

By

dd

My little girl has a LOT of energy. I’m not sure if its just her age (4 1/2), or if this is something I will have to contend with for the next 15 or so years. With school just running from 8 a.m. to noon, I have to cook up other activities for the rest of the day or she’ll be scaling the walls until bedtime. And speaking of the dreaded hour when parents are praying for the beginning of peace in their day, I’ve found that if every little bone in her body isn’t tired enough, she’ll be using every excuse in the book to scrounge another few hours of awake (read play) time. Try “mom, my leg is itchy” or ” mom, I’m really thirsty” (this is an effective one that gets a trip to the potty too) or “mom, its too hot in my room” etc etc.

So aside from signing her up for the “extended day program” at school a few times a week, she also has playgroup on wednesday afternoons and football practice three times a week. Not that the latter means I get tuesdays, thursdays and saturday afternoons free to shop or get a direly needed pedicure, but on those days I get to sit on ant-infested bleachers for two hours with Readers Digest. And if I take my 20-month-old toddler along to the playground adjacent, the whole exercise becomes a full-on workout. Such is mother’s life!

[tags]kids,kid problems,fathers,moms,energy,hyperactive[/tags]

Originally posted on September 29, 2006 @ 12:11 am

Divorce: Talking About It

By

ss

After my last post and my recent uncomfortable experience, I thought it would be useful to know HOW to talk to young kids about divorce. Whether its you and your husband going through one, family members, friends or a movie or tv show, here are some useful tips I found to explain the rather serious matter to little ones:

1. Keep it short and simple – lengthy elaborations can be lost on tots, instead say something like: “A divorce is when two people who are married stop being married. They do this because they aren’t happy living together anymore.”

2. Honesty counts – If the divorce is yours, make sure you tell your child why (“we were fighting too much/making each other sad”) AND always say that it ISNT their fault and thet you’ll both always love them.

3. Talk about it – You need to help the child understand what is going on and dispel as much fears as you can from them by continuing to talk and answer questions when they ask.

4. No blaming – If its happening to you, dont make it seem like your partner was the baddie (even if he was – well, to a point.). Same goes for friends, family and so on. Negative comments can do damage to a child, if that child has a relationship with the person in question.

Originally posted on September 17, 2006 @ 7:37 pm

Sleeping Through The Night: Not!

By

ss

My 20-month-old son has NEVER slept through the night. I can’t help comparing him to my 4-year-old girl, who within a few days of taking her home from the hospital slept for 8 hour stretches. Well here’s some news: thats the first rule to assume when you have kids – siblings will always be different, especially when they’re of the opposite sex. I guess that’s why they tell you to avoid comparing, which isn’t too easy.

So my little boy, who is an utter sweetheart in every other way, can be a real nightmare when it comes to sleep. No fail, every single night (save two or three in his short existence, where I prematurely rejoice thinking he has done it- but the next day its back to the old), he’ll wake up two or three times a night, crying miserably to be rocked, danced or fed.

I am determined to stop this exhausting life for both our sakes (miraculously his sister sho shares a room with him sleeps like a log throughout), as I’ve also heard that bad sleep patterns this early and life can be taken into adulthood. Think of all those adults who have to rely on sleep medication, sound effects etc. Come to think of it now, there must be at least 3 people in my extended family who have this problem. Oh dear.

Here’s some advice I found from Dr.Greene when a desperate Mom with the same exact problem wrote in:

“….The first step in helping Nicholas fall asleep at night is to develop a bedtime ritual. This may include an evening feeding at least one-half hour before bed, bath time (a warm bath right before bed tends to make children sleepy), putting on a fresh diaper and clean pajamas, having Nicholas lie in his crib, and reading a bedtime story. Add one new element of the ritual per week for several weeks until you have established a routine that works well for your family. Not all of these steps are necessary, but you may find many of them helpful. At first you will need to stay by Nicholas’s crib, and perhaps keep reading to him, until he falls asleep. Down the road, you will be able to read for a set amount of time and then leave him alone to fall asleep. In the transition period, it is helpful to give him a children’s cassette tape player with a tape of his favorite stories being read by Mom and Dad. Often when children can turn the tape on and listen as long as they want, they will fall asleep very rapidly. This is particularly true when you tell them that you’ll come back in and check on them in a while.”

[tags]toddler,sleeping,sleep problems,sleeping through night[/tags]

Originally posted on October 3, 2006 @ 8:16 am

The PTC

By

ss

Today my husband and I attended our daughter’s PTC or “parent-teacher conference”. These meetings are a great way to know how your child is doing at school, what she’s been learning and its a chance to get to know her teacher as well – so its always a good idea to come prepared with any questions you may have.

Lately, our four-year-old has been going through an “everything-is-boring” stage, much to our frustration. I have no idea how she learned the dreaded concept, but just in the past couple of weeks, activities which she used to LOVE, like football or playgroup, has been labeled with “boring!” and a refusal to go. Sigh.

Well at school, she never ever says the “b” word and according to her teacher, shows much better behaviour than what we see at home. So its interesting to see the different sides to your child at home and at school – in our daughter’s case, her teacher noted distinct leadership qualities and a willingness to share, as well as some newfound shyness. At home that reads as bossy, not wanting to share toys with her baby brother, and the shyness? non-existent.

On top of that, there were some areas of concern – that she needed more help with writing lower case letters. Also, I need to work on her self-esteem as apparently sometimes she takes her classmates’ (innocent?) teasing to heart.

So, expect more posts on that – I’m off to research.

Originally posted on September 21, 2006 @ 3:23 pm

Wearing Make Up

By

MAKEUP2.JPGRemember all those times you’d come home and catch your daughter playing dress up with your clothes? She’d have your blouse on as a dress, wear your pretty pearls and have a whole gunk of make up on. Bet you were either mad or laughed your head off.

That may have been when she was much younger. Now, she no longer wears your clothes because she feels your clothes are too motherly for her taste. She does however periodically borrow your make-up and wear it to school.

It is actually quite normal for girls in their teens to start wearing make up but at what age and how much? Unless your daughter is performing on stage, 15 to 18 is the time when they truly start to experiment with cosmetics. It will be a lot better if instead of scolding her, you help her learn to apply them properly rather than having her use the wrong products. She doesn’t realize it but until they are in their mid twenties, their beautiful skin doesn’t really need make-up.

Teach her the art of making up by making down. A little powder, mascara and lip gloss is often enough to enhance our beauty. All the highest paid fashion models and actresses do not walk around with pounds of cosmetics on their face. They use just enough to highlight their best features and to add just a touch of color to make them look healthy.

In fact, make it a fun time where you and your daughter can make each other up. Then you can give each other a fashion show and have your pictures taken together.

[tags]parenting,teenagers,make up,models[/tags]

Originally posted on July 31, 2006 @ 3:15 am

Best Divorce Books For Parents

By

dd

Here is small selection of divorce books for parents worth checking out at your local bookstore.

1. Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements that Work
by Mimi E. Lyster

A practical guide for dealing successfully with this touchy issue. Checklists and worksheets make the whole process with its somewhat daunting legal implications a lot simpler to face.

2. Its Not Your Fault Koko Bear
by Vicki Lansky

This is a heartwarming storybook for parents to read together with young children when facing a divorce. Parents with young kids have given this book glowing reviews saying how it helped their child get in touch with and understand their feelings when going through this difficult time. Kids really relate to this one. Highly recommended.

3. Dinosaurs Divorce
by Marc Brown

This time its dinosaurs taking on the emotional turmoil of divorce, but in a way that will engage kids and hopefully have a positive influence with its cheerfull illustrations. Its on the long side (31 pages) and the different chapters tackle issues from “What is Divorce” to “Living in Two Homes”. A good way for parents and children to open up honest dialogue.

4. Difficult Questions Kids Ask And Are Afraid To Ask About Divorce
by Meg F. Schneider

Parents with older kids (after preschool) were reassured with this book and claimed that the questions hit very close to home. The subjects and ages vary though, so an overall good range for parents.

Originally posted on September 19, 2006 @ 9:11 pm

The Five Ingredients For The Perfect Lunchbox

By

ss

To continue from the last post, a good way to get started on daily lunchbox planning is to do it based on the 4 vital ingredients. I’ve given some ideas too below.

1. Protein

Try sandwiches filled with chicken, eggs, tuna, cheese or ham (try the turkey kind). My daughter also likes pasta or rice with chicken or tuna.

2. Complex Carbs

Complex carbohydrates, as opposed to refined carbs, release energy slowly, ensuring that your child has enough energy to last the day and wont need a coffee after lunch. Find this in whole grain breads, pasta, brown or red rice and the good old banana.

3. Calcium

Kids simply need calcium for their growth, so do remember cheese, yougurts, fromage frais and milk (including milkshakes). Experts say kids above 5 can go low-fat, but personally I’ll keep mine on whole until they hit puberty. It just seems they should enjoy whole as long as they can.

4. Fruit and Veg

Heres where they’ll get their all-important vitamins, anti-oxidants, minerals and other lovely things. I sneak the veg in pasta sauce (tomatoes and carrots), chicken meatballs (with spinach) and even cake (carrot & pineapple). My kids love raisins, oranges, mangoes apples (with cinnamon sugar – the brown kind) and broccoli too, so I count myself lucky. Oh, and corn too. Does that count as a vegetable?

5. The Treat (entirely optional)

Ok, this bit is optional depending on how much of a health-obsessed Mom you are. But even if you are, you can kinda cheat. As a treat, you could throw in one of those fruit leather things (or fruit roll ups if you’re lazy and feeling indulgent) or some cake or cookies (homemade is better, but a raisin oat variety or wholewheat teddy grahams from the store is ok too).

On Martha Stewart’s site, she drew funny faces on fruit with edible markers or better yet, do as my Mother did when I was little and make faces on top of brown rice using grapes and veg slivers. It got me to eat my complex carbs, and made me the envy of my 1st grade class.

Originally posted on September 11, 2006 @ 3:00 pm

Mama’s Boy

By

ss

My 18-month-old son is the most beautiful boy in the world. He clings to me like glue, looks soulfully into my eyes and is never happier then when we are snuggled together reading “Goodnight Moon”, his tiny hand in mine. He then chants ‘mama…mama” sweetly as I read, and I just melt with love (like Elvis and doting Mama Gladys in pic).

Unlike my 4-year old girl who was Miss Independence since day 1 (dont get me wrong, we have a special bond too, but its just different), he just seems more vulnerable and more needy of Mom than my girl ever was. These days she’s more into her football or friends at kindergarten, but I can’t ever remember her being like my son. It just got me thinking. Is my son doomed to be a Mama’s Boy? Was it like this with all mothers and sons?

Take my Grandmother for instance. When my aunts come for lunch at her apartment, they’ll have to make do with whatever is on the table (or cook themselves more likely). But when my Uncle (only son, mind you) comes for his weekly visit….the best steak is laid out and all his other favourite dishes! And when the aunts complain, Grandma just shrugs and says “well, he’s my son!”.

When I asked girlfriends and aunts who had sons about this strange mother-son phenomena, they all heartily agreed that indeed, things were always different with their sons – there was definitely some kind of love affair going. And that to understand it with our daughters, you had to realize that the same thing was going on with their Daddies.

Originally posted on September 1, 2006 @ 9:19 pm

About Divorce and New Partners

By

ff

No, thankfully not mine, but when it happens to people close to you. My daughter sees it on television and I’ve explained it in concept – “when mommies and daddies can’t get along… are fighting too much, and wont live together anymore…” etc etc..

But what I find harder is when a new person comes into the scene. Later today, my Mother is coming to visit us with her new “friend”. In her 50’s, she’s decided to leave her husband of 15 years (my stepdad, whose also been married 3 times before), because she says that for the first time ever, this new guy is making her feel things she never felt before.

Without wanting to be the judgemental, moralistic daughter (okay, so I am a bit), I cant help but feel VERY uncomfortable about the whole affair. Things arent really tied up with my Stepdad yet, and yet here comes my children’s Grandmother, passing by for coffee en route to the resort down the road where they’ll be spending the weekend – like its the most normal thing in the world!

I tried to explain to my daughter who this person her Grandma was coming with – a friend who was a doctor and that they were going to the resort to meditate and do yoga (something my Mother is passionate about and her ex-to-be wasnt, but this guy is – get it now?). She took it with a grain of salt, but I do wonder what will go through her 4-year old- mind when they arrive later.

Originally posted on September 15, 2006 @ 11:32 am