They yell at each other, nag each other, bicker, scream, bully each other and basically go, “Mom, look at what he or she is doing”. It gives you a headache just listening to them. The never ending raised voices between your kids grates on your nerves.
Why do kids fight?
For one, they are competing for what they see as a limited resource: your time, attention and love. As each new child is added to your family, that is yet another person to take your attention away from them. As we all know, there is nothing like knowing our parents actively love us and having 20 minutes of your time if your time if you only have an hour to spend with the family just isn’t enough. This is especially true if there is a new baby in the house. They know that babies need more attention, but they need you too.
Another reason may be that they are trying to establish their own identity. Siblings too close in age tend to have to share too many things, from clothes to friends. It can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. It is very difficult to be an individual when you practically have no personal space.
So, what can be done?
Try not to play favorites and give everyone equal time. Don’t give just one kid a special treat. Make everything a family thing as much as possible.
Recognize their individuality. Praise each for the unique things that they are good at. Be aware of their individual strengths and emphasize the blessing that that uniqueness brings your family.
If possible, find a way so that each child has the necessary space and privacy. Everyone needs that, adult or child. We all need times of peace and quiet and time filled with our brand of noise…erm…music.
[tags]parenting,relationships,sibling rivalry,fighting,personal space,individuality,brothers,sisters[/tags]
Originally posted on July 19, 2006 @ 8:14 pm
